Am I a wind turbine?

Recently I was flying to the Netherlands for work, and accentuating the North Sea are fields and fields of majestic wind turbines, slowly caressing the winds as they pass them by. I believe the concept of wind turbine is brilliant in it's simplicity, capturing something (wind) which can be normally destructive or annoying to people, and harnessing it, and then turning it into something which can empower people (excuse the pun). As I was flying over, I felt God speak to me through the image of the turbine.

1. Am I anchored in my core, unchanging in foundational beliefs and principles, as the turbine is? Or am I adrift, being pushed around wherever the wind takes me? This is not to see that I shouldn't have a freedom to chose and to grow, but there needs to be a part of me which is rock solid.
2. Am I able to take what is thrown around in the world, and use it generate good and put that back into the world? Or do I simply lash out in anger and frustration at those around me (or even God) when things don't go according to my will or expectation.

Can I give out from what he has already given me... that is the challenge on my heart today.

Giving to those in need or feeding my own desires?

I was in Euston Station preparing to catch a train, and then I had an urge for a Chai Latte – probably the most tasty hot drink I know of. I did find myself swaying on the shores of uncertainty, see-sawing between “should I buy it or not”, specifically “is it worth the few £’s or not”? Often before I would not have thought much about it, and would have easily gone to buy it, in my mind my one selfish indulgence for the day… However thinking it through, I realised I take many liberties during the day, many self-gratifying indulgences, without thinking about it.

I was contrasting this experience with another one a few weeks back where I was a homeless man on the street. He stopped me and asked me for some money – I did engage with him, as I felt something on my heart that I needed to. So I followed him down the street so I could buy him the food – unfortunately the shop he wanted to go into was closed. So I faced the dilemma of “do I give this man money even though I can clearly see he is drunk”. Remembering a pastor’s sermon where he said that for some of us (me), we withhold money from the poor as we feel they will misuse it – he said that this in itself is a misuse of our money. He also pulled something out of Proverbs (I believe) which said that “he who gives to the poor, lends to the Lord”, and given that the Lord’s interest rates are ridiculous, that is always a good investment. So I decided to buy the man a drink (non-alcholic!) and give him some change so he could get himself some food – whether or not he bought it was his responsibility.

So back to the train station… I ended resolving that I should spend less money (and time!) on my little (but many) indulgences, and give more to those who need it... Ultimately knowing that my spirit & soul is much more satisfied when I am obedient to the Lord and bless those around me, than rather when I seek only to satisfy myself. So no coffee on the train…

Complaining

How often do I find myself complaining, either in my mind or to those around me. Something God has been challenging me on is that complaining is simply seeing an issue, but not taking personal responsibility to see it fixed. Now of course we cannot practicality get involved with everything, but I felt God say that instead of wasting time talking about it, I should rather spend that time praying into the situation, or thinking about how I can personally get involved to improve it.

Holiday & Wives

Just got from an amazing holiday with my lovely wife. I am just so thankful for the wonderful time we were able to spend together, the things we were able to do and incredible places we could see, and also the fantastic people we were able to meet on the journey. It was such a strengthening time for me, and God just continued to work at little things in my heart (knowing there is still a long way to go) - he challenged me on a couple area's where I now know I had lost focus on what was important or allowed little/minor things to distract me - I know this has manifested itself in my relationship with my wonderful wife, so I am humbled by the challenge but excited to be able to move forward in a growing and blossoming relationship with a wonderful partner, team member, leader and butt-kicker.

See the Light

So my mother-in-law is an amazing woman - having spent a few days with her recently, she really is such an encouragement and role model for me. Despite having gone through various difficult circumstances, she is somebody who infectiously oozes hope & joy. There is something about her mindset, that she just sees the light in everything - I on the other can sometimes get caught up in to much of the darkness of this world. Not that discernment is a bad thing, but what is it that prompts a response from us, light or dark, God or satan? We should never act purely in response to darkness, or else we are allowing satan to control our paths - instead we willing respond to God's truth.

But before I digress, back to the point, which is a bit more than just "seeing the light". Living in the UK, where there are many aging churches with beautiful architecture, I could often say to myself that (in my view) men built these not to glorify God but themselves. However I felt challenged by this, as going to one of these little churches, my mother-in-law was so thankful for it all. God lead me to Phillipians 1 where Paul talks about Christ being preached, regardless of intention or motive, he still gives thanks that Christ is preached. Now not that our motives can be wrong, but who are we to judge others? Therefore when we hear the gospel being shared, regardless of the context, I should give thanks and pray that the message is empowered. No matter if it is a church which might have been built to glorify man, or if it is a person on the side of the street preaching, I should see the light and pray that it catches fire on this earth.

Shadow Glory

Just before Easter we were in a coffee shop in London, when outside there was some commotion, so being a guy and intrigued by the gathering crowd I went out. To my surprise it was Zach Braff, the actor from Scrubs, who was part of a musical in a west end show and had come out to meet his fans after a showing. I tried to grab a photo of him, but failed to do so. What struck me was the way people were interacting with him – they were either getting signatures or getting a photo with alongside him. So here is this guy who is fairly well known and respected, and the “normal folk” – including myself – just wanted to “catch” some of that recognition and respect he carries by just being captured briefly in his shadow. There was not anything deeper than that, people were not chatting to him or trying to give him things – quite possibly because of the limited time – but there was something about trying to use this time with this person for our own personal recognition and status. I might be wrong, but I am just being honest about what I was thinking.

Ultimately it prompted me to think about my motives when partnering with people in life, especially those who have something I feel I want or need. What are your motives?

Identity Lie

So something which God has been correcting in my heart & mind recently has been around this thing of identity. I have realised how subtly the devil can twist this, and we begin to believe something about ourselves which is not of God.

As a young boy I often got very sick, nothing serious, just colds & flu's. In this season, I grew to know myself as "a sick boy". As I grew up, I carried this identity as a sick person with my, so much so that when I got sick I did not feel empowered to fight it, as it was part of who I was. It was only in marriage when I started to get sick, and my wife when asking me why, said that it was not part of my identity, that I began to realise the lie I had believed. As I started to realise actually God's will was not for me to be a sick child, I felt empowered to come against the lies, and therefore in the moments when I felt like I was coming down with something God gave me the resolve to fight it, and to speak and pray against that thing which was fighting my health.

My identity is being renewed, and there is a long road ahead of me, but I am thankful that God, through my amazing wife, showed me that lie which I had long believed.

Is there something the father of lies has told you, dear reader, and you have believed? If so, I pray that the truth would wash over you, break any bondage or broken thoughts, and that you would be set free in Jesus name.