Selfishness of Sin

So I have been working through roots of certain sin in my life, something which God has shown overwhelming grace and rich mercy. Essentially it is selfishness, which if I give into, brings me to a place of more sin, which manifests itself in many ways. Now I don't want go into the manifestations, but into the root, the heart of the issue, as Solomon said "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Prov 4:23)

For me it always starts at the point where I feel a spirit of entitlement (i.e. that somebody or the world owes me something) - this can be caused by many different things but for me often preceded good events (productive days at work, growing relationships, acts of generosity, etc) - this is where the devil tricks me into believing that because of all the good stuff "I" have done, I am entitled to something. This hinges on the fact that before I might be doing things out of love, out of a desire to bless or whatever, and then it flips on its head to where I do things for myself. Out of a desire to please myself (and I think in fact that I deserve), I remove myself from a place of sacrifice, submission, intimacy with God, to a place where I believe I should do what I want, and I act out of place where only I matter.

Of course the funny thing is that every time I give into the desire, the end result is that I feel unsatisfied. I know that all the things which the earth has to offer is incomparable to what God can offer me, through intimacy with him, who knows me and loves me immeasurably, and is doing all things for my good and His glory!

Ultimately "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it" (Ps 24:1), but "whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (1 Cor 10:31), and not only that but "Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others" (1 Cor 10:24).

Oh God may I be compelled by your love, not by my own desires. Renew my heart, to feel your heart beat in this world, restore me to you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Whistleblower

So I spent the evening with my lovely wife watching the Whistleblower, a stirring film based on the life of Kathryn Bolkovac, a US citizen who went to post war Bosnia as a UN peacekeeper. There she discovered indescribable physical and sexual offenses being committed against the local girls, unfortunately by those who had been sent to protect them - unfortunately the international criminals finally caught, were unable to be prosecuted due to the international immunity offered to them.

This deeply moving film, again reminded me of the offenses men commit against women, a growing theme which God is putting on my heart, and something my wife has been carrying for years. It broke my heart to see what we are capable of, what we are willing to do to one another. It broke my heart what had been committed against my sisters.

Ultimately I ended up realising whilst justice won't be complete in this world, when Jesus returns it will be. Just like the limited perception we have of justice, is incomparable to the wisdom of God who sees all things through love of his children and hatred of evil... In that I can find peace that his perfect will and justice will be done in the end, and that for now all I need to worry about is being obedient to his perfect will, knowing that whilst his love may be hidden in the dark places of the world, when the light does comes (and it will come) the darkness cannot fight and will submit to the name of Jesus. Amen.

So what left to say? Not sure, but I feel like this is still the beginning for my wife and I, and God has a long and exciting road ahead of us... he is stirring us to fight, how, when, were, I am not sure... but one day the battle call will sound and we will be ready.

Angelic Hospitality

On the weekend, my amazing wife & I went to a conference, and on the final day the asked if anyone in the audience would be willing to take a lady back to London - we were able, so offered. What we did not expect was to have somebody with us who would encourage us as much as she did. We are absolutely blessed by a lady with a huge heart and a fun and enjoyable personality. It made my mind think about the verses in Hebrews 13 where it says "Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it."

Undivided Devotion

Reading from 1 Corinthians 7 where Paul speaks into issue of love and marriage and the pursuit of one another. In verse 29 he makes a challenging statement about men with wives living if they have none, those whose mourn as if they did not, those who buy something as if it were not theirs to keep... "for this world in its present form is passing away". I felt challenged about my approach to life, my perspective on things of this world. Not that I should live my life foolishly as though I was not married, and not that I can detach from my wife and not serve her and love her and lay my life down for her, but that ultimately in the context of God, he needs to be the primary focus as the physical things of this world are only momentary and then gone, but He is eternal. What is my focus, what has my heart, where does my treasure lie? Am I building up treasures on earth or in heaven?

Strip it out, cut it off!

So building on the less is more, surrendering theme. I was listening to a sermon this weekend by Stef Liston, and he spoke about the Flesh, the World and the Devil... below is a bit of the sermon and my thoughts around that.

One of Stef's key points was that we need to crucify the flesh, not to give any space to it (giving it an inch - it will take a mile). The flesh is ultimately anything which stops us from loving Jesus (which ultimately is rooted in the demonic).

In Hebrews 12 the writer tells the people to "throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles"... EVERYTHING which hinders... Likewise elsewhere in the bible (not sure of the reference) it says if our right hand causes us to sin, we should cut it off! There is a massively radically teaching about what to do from anything which detracts from Jesus.

Wow! That challenged me, how do I operate in my life, what thoughts do I allow to enter my mind? How do I guard my mind & my heart? I close below with a challenging letter to the Galatians...

Galatians 5: Life by the Spirit
¹³ You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. ¹⁴ For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” ¹⁵ If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. ¹⁶ So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever^[c] you want. ¹⁸ But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. ¹⁹ The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. ²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ²⁵ Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. ²⁶ Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Blind Courage

So 2 weeks ago I had the pleasure of meeting one of God’s treasures. I sat next to her during a Sunday morning service. We used the standard prompt from the preacher “to get to know your neighbour”, and we chatted for a little while, after which I felt like a had met a genuine, honest, kind person. We then continued in worship, and a visiting speaker delivered a sermon. Right at the end of the meeting, she said to me that she had a simple prophetic picture.

Essentially it was of a small potted plant, and God was simply saying that what I had planted, he would grow… at first I did not get the context, but then after thinking about it I realised it was totally what I needed, in terms of as we plan to move away from this family & community I have been building with for the past few years, God was encouraging me that those people or ministries I had been investing in would grow because he would water them. Thank you God that you are in absolute control, and you will all things for good and your Glory!

Now the point of this blog was not about the simple but hugely encouraging prophecy, but about this girl, who was blind, yet completely confident in bringing a prophetic picture to somebody she just met, and somebody she could not see (or even see how they were reacting). Oh how sometimes I am fearful of steps of faith, even with physical eyes, and her was my friend without sight but completely confident in what God had said to her. What a blessing.

Discipline and Desire

This blog jumps around a bit... apologies if it is a confusing!

So I was listening to a sermon by Bill Johnson, and he was speaking about how God's disciplining is never out of anger... God's never gets unhinged and has to vent on his - his wrath was fully satisfied in Jesus on the cross, and when we step into that covering, it is complete & total. God's disciplining is good for us, as he looks to prune things our life so that we become fruitful - you never prune out of anger, but out of the desire to make something more fruitful. Bill connected that to the verse about the vine & the branches, quoted below.

John 15:
⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸ This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

I love that line where it says if we are within him, then whatever we ask it will be done. It is similar to a passage in 1 John 5 v14-15, where it says if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. God has been challenging me about the state of my heart... as my heart starts to align to the beat of his heart, my desires and passions align to his. Therefore whatever I ask of him should be for good and His glory, therefore why would he not grant it. Even in the Psalm 37, David speaks about if delighting in the Lord, and He will give us the desire of our hearts.

Oh God, forgive me when I delight in things of this world. May I grow in my desire to meet with you in your sanctuary, marinading in your goodness, in your glory, in your majesty. Oh God, take me deeper.